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The Mother-in-Law
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Cobbie




Joined: 02 Aug 2005
Posts: 7419
Location: Chester

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:18 pm    Post subject: The Mother-in-Law Reply with quote

This forum is usually a wealth of information on all sorts of topics so I hope somebody can help me in my current predicament.

Basically, my mother-in-law is being a right pain in the backside so is there a foolproof way of getting rid of her?

All suggestions will be considered but I don't have enough money for a hitman.


TFIC Very Happy
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amd




Joined: 11 Oct 2004
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Location: Royal Tunbridge Wells

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polonium 210????????? Twisted Evil
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amd




Joined: 11 Oct 2004
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Location: Royal Tunbridge Wells

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try this would work if you could inject her with it.http://secure.sciencecompany.com/Potassium-Chloride-100g-P15972C670.aspx

From wikkipedia:-
Quote:
Orally it is toxic in excess; the LD50 is around 2500 mg/kg (meaning that a 150-lb person would have to consume about six ounces; regular salt is about as toxic). Intravenously this is reduced to just over 100 mg/kg but of more concern are its severe effects on cardiac muscles; high doses can cause cardiac arrest and rapid death. Indeed, a massive overdose of intravenous potassium chloride is used to stop the heart in execution by lethal injection


1 pot should kill a 100kg person if given IV - hours of fun and all for only $4.95!!!!!!!!!!
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Spike




Joined: 30 Apr 2005
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Location: Ipswich

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try watching The Ladykillers for inspiration. Actually, maybe that's not such a good idea... Rolling Eyes
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moffy




Joined: 08 Sep 2004
Posts: 254
Location: in the queue at the physios

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I often find that starting to have sex on the sofa with her daughter seems to make her go home quite quickly. Obviously that is my MIL daughter and not your MIL daughter 'cos that would be your wife and not mine and that really would lead to a whole host of trouble......but then again maybe it would definitely make her leave early Confused
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IronMike




Joined: 31 Mar 2005
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Location: Wimbledon

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Go two's up?
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captain nugget




Joined: 09 Feb 2006
Posts: 1530
Location: leeds

PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2006 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Follow her to the toilet and kiss her Wink Confused Exclamation
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Cobbie




Joined: 02 Aug 2005
Posts: 7419
Location: Chester

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spike wrote:
Try watching The Ladykillers for inspiration. Actually, maybe that's not such a good idea... Rolling Eyes

Hmmm, we have this on DVD Idea

The thought of kissing the MIL fills me with dread - yeuch...and I can't even begin to think of an appropriate emoticon.

She has been putting her cigarette butts down the drain at the back of the house (we make her puff outside Twisted Evil ) and each time she lifted the drain cover some leaves have fallen in...leading inevitably to it getting blocked yesterday and me up to my elbow in yuk clearing it. Mad
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ed_m




Joined: 15 May 2003
Posts: 8065
Location: coventry

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kind of hard to claim its not premeditated if you start a thread on it...

Wink
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flyingelephant




Joined: 22 Mar 2004
Posts: 5370
Location: Deepest Darkest Devon / Kn0b freezing Norway

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What thread?
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brownyboi




Joined: 10 May 2006
Posts: 1159
Location: Lovely, lovely Wales...

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 3:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It'll only be a problem if you get caught and arrested.

Funnily enough, last night my mum asked me about the best way to "get rid" of my aunt. I think polonium 210 was her favoured method as well.


Ahhh... 'tis the season of goodwill to all men... and assassination of all annoying relatives...
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Belaqua




Joined: 26 Jul 2005
Posts: 5973
Location: Lost

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

is it like a rule that people don't like their mother in laws? I personally love mine but r.e my mother v. BB - well it's just that she is a little neurotic and BB is so laid back.....
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Bex2011




Joined: 23 Aug 2005
Posts: 1556

PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i am the expert -or not so as my MIL was with us for 8 months earlier this year!!!! Evil or Very Mad

there's just nothing you can do about them, they have skin as hard as nails and can't take a hint if it jumped up and bit them on the nose!!!
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CrazyGirl




Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 2331
Location: No longer walking in a Wigan wonderland!

PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can't you do a Peter Kay?

Pack her bags for her and starting ringing care homes
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Etruscan_Tim




Joined: 13 May 2006
Posts: 2267
Location: Phasianidae, Galliformes

PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Salt is poisonous too, so is mercury.

Have you tried popping a balloon beside her? Or saying BOO! a lot?

Or p!ss in the kitchen and claim (citing Little Britain) that she a liability and should be packed to a home?

Til the season of goodwill ...
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